The temporality of a baby - expecting a baby - is odd. Like you're expecting a house guest, whom you will have to take full care of, for at least 18 yrs., but you don't know when they'll arrive. Everything points to the baby: all the things you buy or arrange, all the tasks you do. — Like mourning, like Heidegger's being-towards-death, it is a full attunement, a full way of leaning, a full way of reverberating through a world.

The baby's mortality (this baby's mortality) seems to overtake one's own. And this à-venir comes to co-constitute your present so much. A hope — a grasping out at nothing solid nor firm. And a relating to — a bundle of relations — to what we know not —— but is this ever different? -

The modality is different - the particulars are different - a structure without structure?

- November 10, in hospital, VGH. She was born November 11.